New Year's Morning by Jim Benz Originally published by Letter X Magazine On New Years Morning, I woke up and found: Maria Shriver passed out naked in the corner of my bedroom, Yuri Andropov rummaging around in my underwear drawer, Flannery O'Connor on her knees counting rosary beads and smiling, Umberto Boccioni smoking the last remains of my stash, Carrie Fischer examining herself pensively in a full length mirror on the door, Kingsley Amis throwing up on my best shoes, Imogene Coca poking around under my bed with a sharp stick, Natalie Wood dripping water on my forehead, G. Gordon Liddy whispering urgently into a small potted plant, Howard Stern sprawled face-down in my dirty laundry, moaning, Eleanor Roosevelt putting on her bra, Andy Rooney filling a syringe from a discolored spoon, Danielle Steele, outside my window, taking pictures.